Photographic Memory
A Story by Jesse Greist, told by Jesse Greist and John Marsh on October 27th 2019
As part of the “Service of Remembrance”
Jesse: Two siblings, Axon and Myelin, had lost their favorite uncle some years ago. The siblings, who were now teenagers, had loved Uncle Amygdala very much. They had loved him for his sense of humor, his playfulness, for the way he always seemed to show up at exactly the right moment, and always knew exactly what to say and when to say it.
John: Now, Axon and Myelin loved their moms too, and turned to them for love and comfort in all things, but Uncle Amygdala’s absence now was as loud and as clear as his presence had been back when he was around.
Jesse: Axon and Myelin had very few pictures of Uncle “A” as they called him. There were a few taken at the beach, a few from different holidays, but one picture hung on the wall in the room they shared. It was that photo they turned to on the days when they felt they needed to remember him. It was the one of Uncle A reading to Axon and Myelin when they were very young. For some reason, that picture had become not just a treasured memory, but a huge part of the story that the teens told each other about who Uncle A had been and what he had meant to them. Today was one of those days. It was a day of remembrance, and they were thinking about their uncle. They kept thinking about him as our story took a short break.
John: Axon and Myelin sat on their twin beds and stared at the picture of Uncle Amygdala on the far wall. As there often was, a comfortable quiet was shared between them as they remembered. Then Axon spoke:
Jesse: I remember that day so well. It was raining outside. There was thunder and lightning and we were so scared! Uncle A walked into the house soaking wet and he shook himself off the way a wolf does! Then he opened his arms and we ran to him, not caring that we got wet too when we hugged him. Then he said “how about we read a story?” and you pulled out that book by Sandra Cisneros. You know, the one about the Hair? I think we still have that book around here somewhere… Anyway, he read that book to us on the couch while mom made hot cocoa and we all drank it while listening to the rain. When the story was over, we weren’t scared of the rain anymore. That was the magic of Uncle A.”
John: Myelin listened and then quietly replied. I do remember that day, but I think you’ve got some of the details wrong. It was raining, but Uncle A was already here. He had been cooking with Mom and Maddy. We ran into the kitchen when the thunder roared, and Uncle A had given us a hug, since mom and Maddy’s hands were all full of food. Then he took us to the living room and he chose the book. It wasn’t Cisneros, it was The Cat in the Hat. He read that because it was raining and the whole story is about finding stuff to do on a rainy day. Also, it wasn’t hot cocoa, I’m sure it was chocolate chip cookies and milk. But don’t worry, I forgive you for getting it wrong.
Jesse: Wrong? . Wrong? You are the one that’s got it wrong! It was definitely Cisneros and cocoa, and Uncle A definitely came in from the rain!
John: NO! It was Seuss and cookies and Uncle A was there all along, dry as a desert!
Jesse: Well, If you’re so sure about that, let’s go ask Mom and Maddy. They’ll be able to tell us who’s right and who’s wrong! And with that the two siblings went running out to find their parents.
John: We come back to our story where we find Axon and Myelin barging into the living room where Mom and Maddy were working on a crossword puzzle together. I invite any children who wish to come up to hear the final part of the story to do so now.
Jesse: Mom! Axon is ruining my childhood
John: And Myelin is messing with my head!
Jesse: Mom put down her pencil and calmly requested a different tone of voice from them both. She asked them to remember their mindfulness techniques, and when they’d both counted to ten she asked them to explain what was going on.
They each told their different version of the memory of the photo, with Axon insisting that the book was Cisneros
John: (no it was Dr Seuss)
Jesse: And that they’d had hot cocoa that day
John: (CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES)
Jesse: And that Uncle Amygdala had been soaking wet
John: (DRY AS A DESERT AND COOKies – get it right!)
Jesse: And then they sat, wide eyed, waiting for their parents to put it right.
It was Maddy who spoke first.
John: “I think I see what’s happening here. You have that photo of Uncle A in your room, and it’s a very important memory to both of you. But the photo doesn’t show everything. It’s been a while since we lost him, but the photo brings that memory to you as clearly as all of us sitting here. The problem is that the photo doesn’t show everything. You can’t see the details.”
Jesse: Mom jumped in at that point. “So I wonder if what you’ve each done is filled in the gaps in this old memory with details that make it come alive for each of you individually. When I listen to you tell your stories, I hear you basically saying the same thing. You were scared of the rain, and your uncle eased your fears by telling you a story. I can hear the love you had for Uncle A, and the comfort he brought you. There’s no question you both remember that. In fact, let’s try something. Let’s all just close our eyes and think about that day for a moment. Try to move beyond the details of the book title or what we ate or drank and try to connect to the memory of the feelings you had when Uncle A was with you. Remember the look in his eyes, the sound of his voice, the warmth of his hugs. Remember that however these memories come to you will be uniquely yours and will be right for you.
John: As we do this, we invite all of you to join us in a moment of quiet reflection. As you are comfortable, close your eyes or make yourself otherwise still and quiet. Call up a picture in your mind of someone you love who is not in your life anymore. It could be because they have died, or moved, or lost touch with you. It could be a family member, a friend, a pet, someone from work or school or someplace else. While it does not need to be a perfect picture, try to remember what they looked like, the sound of their voice, a song they sang or a joke they told, knowing that the memories that come to you are uniquely yours. Remember a time when you were together, and as we share quiet, may you be together once more.
~1 minute of silence
Jesse: The family in our story came out of their meditative memory. They opened their eyes and came to an agreement with each other. They decided that It’s okay for them to have different versions of the same memory. It’s okay for Axon’s story to be true for her, and Myelin’s story to be true for them. What was important was that both siblings shared love for their lost Uncle, and honored the fact that they each had their own memories of him. They each lit a candle, and they invited you to do the same now. As the piano music plays, everyone is invited to come forward as you are able and to light a flame of memory for someone who is no longer in your daily life, so that we may all share in the warmth of remembrance.