“What ALL IN Means”
Rev. Megan Lloyd Joiner
Unitarian Society of New Haven
April 7, 2019

Reading: When Giving Is All We Have by Alberto Ríos

Sermon:
We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.

Each of us has different reasons for being generous with our time, our energy, our presence, our resources, ourselves.

Some of us give because someone gave to us, and we choose to “pay it forward.”

Some of us give because nobody gave to us, and we choose to transform that pain into abundance and generosity.

Some of us give because we have an instinct to protect the next generation, or those yet to be born, perhaps we even consider the impact of our actions – and of our generosity – seven generations ahead, a concept said to have originated with the Iroquois Nation.

Some of us give because our families never had enough.

Some of us give because we were raised in a tithing family – a family that gave 10% of their income to their community of faith or to other causes – and we learned that generosity is a spiritual value that gives meaning to our lives.

Some of us give because we can.

Some of us give because it is hard for us for whatever reason: it’s not in our nature, or in our bank account.

For some of us, giving is a real a challenge, a stretch psychologically or financially, but the kind of extension that ultimately makes us feel good and connected and part of something larger than ourselves.

The poet David Whyte writes: “Giving means paying attention and creating imaginative contact with the one to whom we are giving, it is a form of attention itself, a way of acknowledging and giving thanks for lives other than our own.”

“The first step in giving,” he says, “may be to create a budget, to make a list or to browse a storefront but the essential deed is done through the door of contemplation: of the person, the charity, the cause, finding the essence of the need, the person or the relationship.”

“The essential deed is done through the door of contemplation.”

~

I personally know of four relationships in which a living donor offered an organ or a portion of an organ to another person. In some cases, the donor knew the recipient well, in others, they did not. Still they chose to give, literally, a piece of themselves to another, freely, without expecting anything in return.

One of the powerhouse coaches at my gym, a woman who has literally changed my life by teaching me that I can do things – lift things – that I never thought I could, recently underwent major (major!) surgery to give part of her liver to another member of the gym.

When asked what it felt like to save the life of the woman to whom she donated 62% of her liver, Karin replied: “There is so much … going on in the world. There are so many people who have been dealt a hand that they don’t deserve. It has always frustrated me that I can do absolutely nothing about most of it. I could do something about this, so I did. I feel honored to have saved her life.”

“I could do something about this, so I did.”

~

Each year at USNH, Spring brings our annual stewardship drive. This is the time when, together, we pledge nearly half a million dollars to fund our operating costs: our staff salaries, our programming, religious education for children and adults, our social justice efforts, and truly wonderful music, not to mention our utility bills, (and, thinking ahead) our snow plowing expenses, nearly everything you can think of that goes into running this congregation, maintaining this building and creating this community.

This year, our INCREDIBLE Stewardship team is focused, not as much on how much money we need to raise in pledges, but in having the entire congregation participate. They have invited us to be All IN—for 100% of us to make a pledge.

It is not an exaggeration to say that each of our pledges – be they $1 or $10, $100 or $1000 or $10,000 – makes a difference. Because when we are ALL IN, we make something greater together.

Our pledges to USNH each represent a pledge of hope. We say with our individual and our collective promises to give that while there is so much going on in the world about which we can do absolutely nothing, we can create together a place that sustains souls and saves lives and offers respite from a “fragmented world.”

Together, we can create transformative connections and do our part toward creating a more just world. To be ALL IN this year is to make a new kind of statement about the importance of this community in your life. It is to contemplate the essence of not only your relationship to USNH, but your relationship to the rest of the world, to humanity, to the universe, and for some, to God.
It is to make a statement about the strength of your faith in humanity, in the ultimate goodness of life, in the power of justice, and the beauty of all that is holy.

To be ALL IN is to answer yes to the call to participate and to belong.

When my husband, Anthony, and I were contemplating our pledge in preparation for returning the pledge form we received in the mail a few weeks ago, we didn’t know exactly what to do.

We will not be with you during the 2019-2020 pledge year. Still, we are deeply committed to USNH’s flourishing. We care about each of you and about USNH as a whole. You have given so much to us during our years together, and we want to continue to give to you. And so we will.

We hope that as we fulfill our pledge for next year, you will feel our love and support from afar, you will know how much we believe in you, how much faith we have in you as individuals and as a religious community. Like you, we choose to support the communities and people in which we have faith.

Now what do I mean when I call USNH a religious community? Some of you may balk at that term. If that is the case for you, I invite you to lean into your discomfort.

The Rev. Dr. Rebecca Parker, former president of our Unitarian Universalist seminary, Starr King School for the Ministry, writes that “A religious community’s encompassing walls— real or metaphorical—can be portable, as with the ancient Hebrews’ tent of meeting, or permeable, as with the Druids’ circle of standing stones and the enslaved African Americans’ “hush arbor” in the forest. Or they can be as solid and imposing as the buttressed walls of a gothic cathedral. Whatever the character of a community’s structures, they function to support the survival and thriving of a people.”

The survival and thriving of a people.

Let’s unpack that a bit.

First, “a people.” Jesse Greist, our director of Lifespan Religious Education and I were talking this week with our Covenantal Relations Committee. The Committee is planning to host a community dinner for USNH on June 7th.

We went back and forth on whether to call the dinner a “family dinner” or a “community dinner.” We finally settled on “community,” mainly because we want everyone to know they are invited and that the dinner is not only for “families.”

But I was struck by the impulse to call it a family dinner, because USNH is not what is traditionally known as a “family size congregation.” We have upwards of 250 people here in the building on Sunday mornings; we are not a small congregation of under 100 people.

And yet, the connections that have formed here—decades-long or just a few short months in the making—are powerful, and the ties that bind folks together here are strong, so strong they are in many cases, like family (however you define family in a way that meets your needs for love and support). USNHers care for each other in sickness and in death. USNHers feed and house each other when someone is in need. USNHers offer concern and care and prayers and practical, logistical support.

This are more than a gathering of individuals, this is “a people.”

USNH is a community of people with a history, inheritors of a legacy of determination and grit. This community has been self-sustaining and self-sufficient since its founding in 1951. In an age in which communities of faith of all kinds are closing their doors, USNH is hale and hearty,
still building on a powerful history of surviving and thriving.

But it is not only the survival and thriving of this community as a whole that concerns us. What happens here, in worship and workshops, through teaching and preaching and in giving and receiving care, is that each of us, every one of us, is saved. Each of us is given what we need to survive, and invited beyond that, to thrive, to let our light shine forth. When that happens, we are literally saving lives.

And so, as Parker tells us, it is the survival and thriving of a people and of the people that religious community is all about.

We are blessed with this beautiful building in which to do this holy work, but building religious community is not about the literal walls. It’s about the container that we create together. It’s about holding each other as our lives go forward, from our tiniest, newest babies to our most esteemed elders.

It’s about making possible the survival and the thriving of our neighbor – in the pew and down the street. It’s about making space for each life to shine and knowing that together, all our lights shine brighter.

Our theme for the month of April is “wholeness.” And I cannot think of a better metaphor than a religious and spiritual community of seekers such as this one for thinking about what wholeness means. We are each a part of the whole. No one of us is responsible for doing or being or giving everything. But with each of us contributing what we can, doing what we can, being who we are, we create together a beautiful whole that allows for and enables, not only survival, but a thriving beyond measure.

Being ALL IN for USNH affirms the power, determination and abundance of this beloved community.

Let giving change you this year.

There is so much about which we can do nothing. This we can do, together.